SO THIS GUY IN MY ENGLISH IS DOING A PROJECT FOR BIO WHERE HE GETS A DUCKLING TO IMPRINT ON HIM SO HE JUST CARRIES IT AROUND WITH HIM TO ALL OF HIS CLASSES AND I SWEAR THIS DUCK IS THE MOST WELL BEHAVED FUCKING POULTRY IVE EVER SEEN IT JUST SITS ON HIS DESK QUIETLY AND SOMETIMES HE PUTS IT IN HIS POCKET AND IT JUST SLEEPS LIKE WOW YOU GO DUCKY
(via fairyprncess)
a kid from my school just got expelled today for pretending to be russian for 8 months. he pretended he couldn’t read, write or talk english he did good in all his classes because he had all the teachers and principles convinced he just moved from russia, so they didn’t make him do any work
(via shutupaubrey)
A woman selling hostess cakes in the Walmart parking lot.
(Source: ultimatevictory, via honeyboo-boochild)
at prom some girl dropped her corsage and cut her toe and she was bleeding so the dj stopped the music and i said “i guess there really is blood on the dancefloor“and my date slapped me across the face
(via s0uleaterevans)
